Why I Feel Left Behind and How I'm Fighting to Rise Again
Four years ago, my life took a complete 180. I had been working in the aviation industry for 17 years when, suddenly, I lost my job due to the pandemic. Like many others who were affected, I had to figure out how to survive. But here’s the problem—not everyone gets the government aid that’s constantly being promoted. I was one of those who got left out.
When the economy crashed and jobs became scarce, I tried every way I could to get back on my feet. I wanted to upskill, learn new skills so I could secure a stable job. But unfortunately, most government training programs were focused on a specific group—the B40. And me? I was stuck in a weird middle ground: not poor enough to qualify for aid, but struggling enough to feel the impact.
Starting a business? Even tougher. Financial assistance for small entrepreneurs barely exists for people like me. I applied for loans, but because my CTOS score had dropped to ‘POOR’ (thanks to overdue payments after losing my job), I had no hope of getting approved. The irony? Even though it’s clear I can’t take on more debt, banks still call me every day demanding payment. The system punishes people who are struggling faster than it gives them a chance to rebuild.
I get it, some might say, “Lots of people are struggling, you’re not the only one.” That’s true, and I agree. But imagine this—after working hard for decades, paying taxes, contributing to the economy, suddenly when you hit rock bottom, all doors to assistance are shut tight. That’s what makes me bitter—not because I’m jealous, but because the system is unfair to people who genuinely want to recover.
But I can’t sit around complaining. If I wait for help that might never come, I’m just wasting time. I have to do something.
I’ve always been passionate about graphic design and branding. After losing my job, I tried to get back into the field as a freelancer. But freelancing is tough—income is inconsistent, and finding clients who are willing to pay decent rates isn’t easy. So, I made a bigger decision—to start my own business. I chose to sell t-shirts and merchandise with unique designs, specifically in the rock and metal music niche, something I’ve always loved.
The old intern at PETRONAS.
To strengthen my skills, I decided to go back to school and study graphic design at MSU. It wasn’t an easy decision—without a steady income, I relied entirely on my wife, who supported my education financially. She believed in me, and that gave me the motivation to keep going. I can’t let her down, and I want to prove that knowledge and hard work can be the way out of this hardship.
Why t-shirts? Because they’re more than just clothing. They’re identity, a way to send a message, and a form of self-expression. With this brand, I’m not just trying to make money—I’m building something that can grow long-term. I want to prove that even without government assistance or bank support, a person can still find a way out of financial struggle.
Is it easy? Not at all. But at least this business is something I can control. I don’t have to rely on empty promises or false hope from a system that doesn’t care about people like me. I know this journey will be long, but as long as I keep pushing forward, I believe I can change my own fate.
I’m not writing this to gain sympathy. I know many others have it worse than me. But I want to highlight something—the system doesn’t really help people stuck in this ‘grey zone’ like me. And at the same time, I want to inspire others who might be in a similar situation. If there’s no help, create your own opportunities. If one door closes, find another way. Don’t let an unfair system decide your future.
I may still be on my way out of this financial mess, but at least now, I have hope. And for me, that’s enough to keep fighting.
